SAMPLE SELF-EVALUATION LIST
HUSBAND AND FATHER
As mentioned in the title, this list is only a sample of what your self-evaluation may look like. Go over it and create your own personalized list using this one as a guide. Be honest, objective and specific. Spare no punches.  Examine every area of your life: church, spiritual, Bible reading, prayer, witnessing, family leadership, finances, speech, emotions, attitudes, use of time, physical, personal, work, recreational, parents, in-laws, friends, children, amusements, habits, manners, sex, cleanliness, orderliness, relations with and concern for other people, stubbornness, irritability, rudeness, laziness, cooperativeness, appreciation, unselfishness and generosity, decision making, etc. Be sure to add things that you see wrong in your life that are not mentioned on this list. Specifically confess your sins to God and those whom you have wronged. Seek God's help to change. Bring your list to our next visit. 
Read Matthew 7:2-5; Romans 14:7-23; Ephesians 4:25-32; James 1:16; I John 1:9; Proverbs 28:13. 
1. I do not lead family devotions regularly. 
2. I fail to realize why it is so important to my wife. 
3. I did not show enough concern in her interest in painting or _____ (give examples) 
4. I do not give enough assistance to her with ________ (give examples). 
5. For too long have I taken her love too much for granted. 
6. I have often been irritable with her about ________ (give examples).
7. I have been lazy in doing yard work. 
8. I have been selfish sexually. In what ways? ________ (give examples).
9. I often expect her to drop housework and give me attention. 
10. I become irritated when she is not ready to leave on time, but expect her to be patient when I am not ready on time. 
11. I have not been giving her enough candy, flowers, gifts, surprises, etc. 
12. I have not been keeping my desk neat and orderly. 
13. I fail to express myself clearly and fully. I expect her to know. 
14. I have been backward about showing any affection to my wife in public. In what ways? ______ (give examples).
15. My attention often wanders when she is talking to me. 
16. I spend too much time away from home and am not available to her or the children many nights out of the week.               Sometimes days go by without any significant communication between us. 
17. I refuse to help her with the housework or dishes. 
18. Sometimes I have a tendency to ask too many questions about a matter, wanting to know details out of foolish curiosity. 
19. I have not helped enough with the ________ (give examples). 
20. I sometimes initiate plans without her counsel ________ (give examples). 
21. I neglect odd jobs around the house. What odd jobs? ________ (give examples).
22. I sometimes tease her too much when with others. ________ (give examples).
23. I leave shoes, clothing, and other apparel lying around the house. 
24. I selfishly play music too loudly. 
25. I have not been exercising leadership in many areas of our marriage relationship ________ (give examples).
26. I often grumble about taking the garbage out, even after it has been gathered up by her. 
27. I complain about taking the dog for a walk even though I enjoy having a dog and she does most of the caring for it. 
28. I haven't taken her shopping or other places often enough. 
29. I should make more efforts to get along with her parents. 
30. I am not as productive as I should be at work. In what ways?  ________ (give examples).
31. I complain about the boss unfairly before others, and tend to exaggerate matters grossly. With whom and about what? 
32. I am lazy when it comes to doing any study or work that will help me with my job. 
33. I should be more thankful for God's mercy and blessings. Which ones? ________ (give examples).
34. I am backward about witnessing about Christ and frequently keep quiet when I should speak up. (give examples). 
35. I am selfish and do not help others willingly when I have opportunity, although I often receive help from the same persons. ________ (give examples).
36. I give in to depression and shut down and don’t fulfil my obligations, rather than combat it. 
37. I allow my attention to wander during church and get little benefit from worship and preaching. 
38. I make plans without consulting God in prayer and the Word. ________ (give examples). 
39. I should be more sensitive to my wife’s problems, moods, and feelings. I have not been as sympathetic as I should. 
40. I seldom express appreciation or compliments to her. 
41. I spend too much money on ________ (give examples).
42. I am too "tight" with money. ________ (give examples).
43. I don't try to find things for us to do together. 
44. I read the paper at mealtimes. 
45. I don't kiss when I come or go. 
46. I show too much interest in other women or men. How is this displayed? When? Where? ______ (give examples).
47. I accuse my wife of being frigid. 
48. I drink too much. 
49. I smoke too much. 
50. I gamble too much. 
51. I won't go to church with her. 
52. I make excuses or often simply refuse to do what she wants to do. ________ (give examples). 
53. I have bad manners. ________ (give examples).
54. I nag her about her faults or mistakes. ________ (give examples). 
55. I act bored when I am home. 
56. I am difficult to satisfy. In what areas? ________ (give examples).
57. I get angry or leave the room or refuse to talk when a problem or disagreement arises. About what? Be specific. 
58. I am too ambitious. About what? For what? 
59. I make excuses or blame others when I make a mistake or do something wrong. ________ (give examples).
60. I use profanity. 
61. I don't seek help when we have serious problems. ________ (give examples).
62. I don't trust. Whom? About what? Be specific.
63. I am very untidy and disorganized. In what ways? Be specific. 
64. I become angry whenever she does not discipline the children as I want her to. ________ (give examples).
65. I don't share my ideas and plans with her as much as I should. ________ (give examples).
66. I don't give enough to the church. How much should you give? 
67. I watch TV when my wife wants me to talk to her or go some place with her. ________ (give examples).
68. I don't spend time playing with the children. 
69. I constantly criticize her family. 
70. I get angry or hurt when she is too tired to have sexual relations or when she wants relations and I don’t.  
71. I lose my temper and lash out when the children do not treat me with respect. Be specific.
72. I do not listen to her or the children without interrupting them. 
73. I do not allow her or the children to have their own opinions without badgering them. I feel threatened whenever they disagree with me and try to pressure them into accepting my point of view. 
74. I am not doing a good job as a Sunday school teacher. I don't study, visit, pray or set the example I should be. How? 
75. I have held a grudge against _________________________for _________________________________. 
76. I insist that people perform or act in a certain way (my way) before I accept them. 
77. I have criticized _____________________________ without first going to him/her or making sure I had the facts. I haven't had the kind of love that covers a multitude of sins. Specifics? 
78. I work too much and neglect my family and church. In what ways? 
79. I am not using the gifts and abilities God has given me to glorify and serve Him as I ought. Which gifts? 
80. I do not help other people very much. I am too much like the Levite or the priest in Luke 10, who saw needy people and ignored them. Examples? 
81. I make threats with the children I don't keep and perhaps never even intended to keep. Examples? 
82. I don't discipline the children effectively. How are you failing? 
83. I am not teaching the children to live an orderly life. In what areas? 
84. I am too rigid and demanding. Examples? 
85. I hurt other people and don't like to ask for forgiveness. Examples? 
86. I am not teaching the children to respect authority or fulfill responsibilities. I criticize my boss, disobey speed laws, etc. 
87. I spend money on myself, but I am stingy with my wife and family. 
88. I need to do more reading in areas that would help me to improve as a husband, father and Christian. 
89. I sometimes compare my wife and family unfavorably to other people. ________ (give examples).
90. I do not cultivate my children's friendship enough. 
91. I seldom believe their explanations for their actions or behavior. I am very suspicious of them and usually think the worst. 
92. I take things too seriously and often make mountains out of molehills. I major on minors. ______ (give examples).
93. I have annoying habits and mannerisms. What are they? ________ (give examples).
94. I do not take care of myself physically as I should. Be specific. 
95. I often neglect my wife's sexual needs and am mostly concerned about my own. 
96. I still depend too much on my parents. I listen to them more than to my wife. ________ (give examples).
97. I often make excessive demands upon my wife, expecting too much of her. ________ (give examples).
98. I am sometimes a coward and do not lovingly stand up for what I know to be right. ________ (give examples).

10/6/2005